The cumulative scum on the toilet of capitalism referred to as marketers and advertisers will be there ensure you become a more refined and specialized consumer, while information is pumped freely into the global panoptical matrix, this digital culture will be at the whim of the input function of those who own the free market calculator… all under the soon to be omnipotent auspices of the proverbial mindfk big brother. Go the fk back to sleep.
Hardwiring the self
How cryptic you may say? Fk rights homie, and its gets better in a real fkn worse kind of way. Clearly the best thing for a society of depressed, melancholic, insatiable, sensation seekers… those superficial, whiny snivelling, “me, me, me” hardwired and gridlocked little bitches euphemistically referred to as westerners is another way to further convolute and distort their self image, and further corrupt their ability to communicate with one another in person. This new system of control will effectively preserve the post-modern sociological stasis, sustaining a do nothing society of activists advocating financed rebellion, further impeding the speed of what is perceived to be social progress, the best shall prefer complete societal egress. But human is, human does, considering the consequence of how our herd stupidity (that can be rightly attributed to our miscommunication with one another) could be exponentially exploited, through the use of digital communication we were given by the almighty… Facebook. Heaven forbid we encourage this abuse, and fulfill such a prophecy but a medium that grows by over 150% a year is perpetually approaching this end. Perhaps it was inevitable in light of globalization. And surely its convenience will override any clandestine purpose it may have for us… For now… yes… for now. But as much as good natured and thinking people would like to think that this system would assist social progress and activism they forget that in a semi-anonymous platform like Facebook, moles, shills, and provocateurs are easily turned loose on the crowd, the greater the medium of communication so to is the greater capacity for the powers that be to use it against those in the process of liberation.
Humanistic psychologists use terms like the ‘real self’ and ‘ideal self’ to represent who we are, and what we would like to be, respectively. It is commonly accepted that the more overlap between what we are (real self) and what we hope to be (ideal self) is indicative of a greater psychological congruency (sound psychological health). With the advent of Myspace, MSN, and most definitively Facebook, assholes of all shapes and sizes, cultural backgrounds and social strata now have the opportunity to optimize , glamorize and exaggerate themselves (their ideal selves) to the public through profiles avatars, albums pictures, stating their interests, beliefs, accomplishments, favourite quotes and other forms of virtual cosmetology. All of the aforementioned features overemphasizes their perceived strengths and is entirely negligent to their weaknesses, replacing the holistic view of a person with one of steadfast optimism. This sanguine fragment of ourselves that we project onto facebook is what Jung would call the opposite of our ’shadow’, but I wont get into that. The real self is severely underrepresented, never once will you see a facebook question asking what it is you lack, or what weakness you may possess, because surely we are all high end, cyber-psychological super humans who possess no imperfections, and never use toilets. Without a doubt, dumbfk profile snoops who sleuth our profile in search of something human will be fooled into thinking that we are something we are not! Tragically the real flesh and crusted bones of a person, chalk full of the imperfections that make them human that changes and grows await to be met outside this downgraded communication medium by people they have duped into accepting as friends.
The process of digitizing oneself consists of objectifying yourself, freezing yourself in time. Simply it creates the illusion that you exist in a two dimensional world, where everything is at it appears on the surface and there is no depth or substance worth probing that underlies anything about you. An objectified brain-dead idiot fk. Thus everyone is processed as amodern day superstar, projected out into the self-conscious news feed. In the same way the deluded reverence gained from self-portrayal of their desired/deceptive image may bring a false sense of confidence in ones worth, fuelling egoism or have the converse effect of making someone feel completely useless and unwanted, but don’t worry Facebook is program to wish you happy birthday. Overly attentive to their digitized self they will invest absurd amounts of time and effort in place of the one they are forced to communicate with in real life. Ignoring and adding to the shame of how they actually are and perceive their real selves to be. The trivial dangers pertaining to online disclosure (i.e. random friend adds, and the prospect of getting your information and/ or identity stolen, sought out by an employer, stalked, gawked at etc.) are quite obvious, but that is the least of our problems.
We must now take a break so I can upgrade my status
Nathan Human IS @ work obdurately writing non-academic, unscripted, and thus uncompromised bona fide information for you flocks of mislead sheeple steeped in sheepdumb to graze over, ingest, and shit out diuretically without any nutritional gains in epistemology.
We can analyze people’s persona by being attentive to what they have paid attention to in crafting their grandiose profile; assuming they will do so in way that they feel characterizes who they are. This is far more evident in ridiculous 3d virtual reality programs like second life, who scream “I am a fkn retard who deserves oppression by a tyrannical hand for leaving the real world to rot, and denying my real self”.
In these programs people create alter egos, and exaggerated versions of themselves, typically in the perceived likeness of their ideal selves. Sure some people enjoy it because they can bypass the judgment laden process of real time communication and boost their self-esteem in this heartless society of sterotypified alienated assholes, but have some self-respect, don’t buckle to what people think, and learn to swear damn it really loud, say FK YOU (WHILST IN A RESTAURANT) LOUD AND SPORADIC… COMPLETELY INFRINGING ON THE SPACE OF THE NEXT ASSHOLE!!!!! IF ANYONE ELSE IS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FREEDOM RUN THOSE FKRS INTO THE ETERNAL DITCH OF 2ND BESTS!!!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT EXISTS!!!!!OUTS THE WAY BEEEEEEITCHS!!!! OUTS THE MUTHA FKN WAY!!!!ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!
I assure you its beyond tourettes.
Now look… like I am one to fkn talk, I spend so much fkn time on this infernal life sucking data receptacle disclosing everything and anything about every passing moment in my life for the benefit of the CIA and the local police department, but I clean up real well... Fuck you into eternal damnation facebook you soul sucking piece of shit.
Without a doubt, what I do could be considered domestic terrorism if I were an American… and some of the people I associate with well shit… Put it this way if the market built on idiocy adapts the structural hardware of Nazism 2.0 they would be quite succinctly Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition! Storm trooped, battered and bruised. SO LETS SCREW OURSELVES RIGHT!!!!!!
Yes it is true I am a complete facebook addict, so why don’t you kill me. In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey with butane in my veins and… well you get the fkn point… I quit smoking you know… but not this shit, because you thought-policing swine (I have almost completely given up on saving), are still worth more to me than cancer. What can I say I am a real stand up guy... The point is hypocrites can still be right, and I intend to continue abusing this principle liberally. I do this on company time, so please spare me the ‘I am a social superstar condescending cliché’, “why don’t you get out more” pitch… been there done that, could be there in 5 minutes, so how about you STFU and retreat back to a life of uncritical servitude and complacency, allow me to exploit this potential for cranial activity. Please allow me to waste company time, and live vicariously through my news feed that documents the witless self-entranced escapades of moronic assholes who are quite content not going beyond cheap thrills and getting jiggy with it! I realize that I am short-changing my very short life, along with all those of those of the other halfwit numbskulls, who will never know how ‘cool’ I was capable of being in person. But at least I am not blowing up buildings like the USA and blaming it on people trained by the CIA. Fk… like how pathetic would that be.
Inner digitized children
The increasingly infantile baby faced nature of western society that is abetted by feign, soulless, horseshit commercial jingles being passed of as rock and roll, an ever more backward education curricula (unleashing droves of brainwashed patriotic assholes into the shopping malls), adults living with parents, mass marketers exploiting our pursuits to greater self-understanding, counterproductive drug laws, hurtin Albertans, high divorce rates, psychotropic dependent optimism and Viagra, is now being complimented by the digital playgrounds of Facebook. Facebook has a growing demographic of older users: cougars, has-beens, Joe six packs, Joe plumbers, Joe funkn blows, full blown conformists, grandmas, and grandpas who seek to reinsert themselves into the popularity contest and extend their identity crisis long after they have lost their ability to reproduce naturally and are supposed to be preaching wisdom and bestowing generosity. Sucked in by the prospect of staying connected and keeping tabs on their loved ones, they quickly grow used to having to tend to a insincere online image, thereby regressing to a dissonant teeny bopper state of role confusion. No longer is it necessary to go and get a job and get married right after high school as 3rd world peasants and illegal immigrants will work for us, and we never have to settle on anyone in particular as monogamy has been replaced by a sequential polygamy, we are free to have an uncommitted divorcing fuck of an extended good time. Save your mid-life crisis for your mid 60's okeee? There is plenty of time for you to sell your self to advertisers on facebook, well beyond the age you are forced to retire. Online communication mediums facilitate the furthering of role confusion and extend teenage identity crises well into our senior years, going hand in hand with the postmodernist mindfk atmosphere of our modern day and age. NO HORSING AROUND ON THE MONKEY BARS ASSHOLES.
Now that we have achieved a near dystopic technocratic mindfk society in which alienating technologies, exploitation of 3rd world labour and processing of all human activities through a structured institutionalized one size fits all FK U method of social control, we all have free time which needs to be filled with the self-loving pursuits of virtual social superstardom. Luring us into the ultimate domain of social control known as FACEBOOK. With this of course comes a new battle to be won with ones self-esteem, and an ongoing one in which everyone now gets a resurging 15 minutes of fame, like a gambler on a slot machine. Wow, look at me…
Yeah… look at you… you are “sane” eh???? Well I’ll be damned ,aren’t you the fkn cats meow, just the coolest fkn thing alive, wipe that fake photoshopped smile off your face jerk.
How beyond what epitomizes the term ‘pathetic’ is that? Well take a look at my profile picture and make up your own mind! What the fk was I thinking. Shoot me, for falling into the fad that was myself (Fadbusters # 12). In my social news feed my own personalized version of “everyone” awaits with a neat little play by play of your dimwitted mindfk follies. When I am bored I can demonstrate just how much of a loser I have devolved to by commenting on peoples status updates YAY!!!! And steep even lower to reply to comments of comments on those updates, that’s the point at which ones existence is becoming only slightly redundant! Shoot me right now.
The meaningless messaging medium
In this era of halfwit small talk and hum drumming moronic embrace , it is quite fitting that our primary means of communication has been downgraded from an art which permitted variability’s such as tonality, emotional conveyance, pitch, volume, emotional variation etc. and has been reduced to minimalist text-based communication the depth of which DOESN’T GO BEYOND CAPS!!! No longer are we forced to interpret the human-ish emotional responses via telephone or Face to face conversation. And god… some of the bullshit exchanges of uptight yuppity people whose depth of communication is like up to my fkn ankles, with there use of acronyms and this new age MSN speak, makes me really want to off myself. Why don’t you talk about things that matter you brainwashed slaves like:
The 9/11 commission report is challenged by thousands of scientists, researchers, pilots who have been blackballed by the mainstream mindfk media, Israel is a country created to provoke conflict with the side effect of oppressing the Palestinian people, Iraq is and always has been an illegal occupation, to funnel money into military based companies whose stock is owned by those who started the war, Provocateurs are used in both Canada and US protests to legitimate the use of violence by police, and suppressing any dissenting voices, 3rd world resource and labour exploitation predatory lending etc, Troops are in Afghanistan defending a pipeline, That ‘the military industrial complex’ is not natural, nor justified in any way whatsoever, The media is FUBAR, The coming war with Iran, That private banking is a crime, The concept of money, and how it actually works
Israeli soldier guarding against terrorists (lower right)
JUST GO BACK TO GETTING JIGGY WITH IT, WHILE I IMPUTE UPON THEE A UNRELENTING RECALCITRANT RAGE… ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Or just circulate links of sub-level importance, small-talk around the water cooler, dignify wholly deceptive mainstream media distractions, for your own amusement and be surprised when it doesn’t help OKEE?
So not only are the words, and mannerisms accompanying communication being pre established for us by the existing establishment, now we have been limited in using the mainstream tongue we have been given to an unemotional textual form. And because we are so self-conscious and ‘busy‘ buying shit and abusing our minds, seldom would we actually want to talk face to face with anyone anymore, it is too much of a security risk talking to someone you don’t know in the street, its best to fly by one another in our communicative prisons called cars unable to communicate with everyone else in this cyber fk society of alienated assholes who lack the volition to even write the word FUCK in caps, because that would mean that we would have to not worry about what a bunch of other MORONIC FKN YAHOOS think, and maybe even reveal their true selves, an ability which diminishes every time we use facebook. So a new stupidity emerges, and will characterize the future, one in which the zeitgeist and societal progress will be at the whim of the one upping witty exchanges of news feed conscious, assholes. Fk you all into a bitter extinction.
YOU ARE WATCHING YOU
What is synoptic surveillance? An example would be policemen who are obligated to uphold the law, even if that means incriminating and arresting other policemen. In facebook terms, it means every slave policing every other slave that uses the system (citizens arrest). In Orwellian terms this means that instead of some eye in the sky monitoring everything we say and do (although that may also be a function of face book) most of this work will be delegated to the people who use face book, but they will do this unknowingly. People will keep themselves in line by marginalizing anyone whose ideas don’t match with the ‘in crowd‘ or should we call them ‘the self-proclaimed super conformists who are on the cutting edge of exploiting the hard labours of thinking people‘. Considering the majority of the populous is orthodox assholes, who wouldn’t speak up about something if their social lives depended on it, it should be expected that thousands of these sheeple would flock themselves all the way off the cliff of totalitarianism when that time should arise. You wouldn’t want to come off as a quack, I mean really… what is a ruthless fascist state compared to looking bad to your friends right? This is part and parcel of everyone knowing what you are doing all of the time. Furthermore, the imbecilic fools, in an attempt to disclose and make friends will reveal all the personal information about themselves, so that when its time to bring the hammer down, we will know who is religious, who is political, who is anti-corporate domination etc. You can go to the group on facebook which tells you how to permanently delete your account, but what it wont tell you is that regardless of whether you delete every trace of your existence to other users, all your info is retained in the facebook hidden file matrix. What happens in the facebook stays in the facebook.
Fuck traditionalism and in with the new I say, its just unfortunate that it had to come at the cost of genuine communication with one another, just send an emoti-con to a fake friend and put on a fake smile because you are becoming less and less significant by the day and there is nothing you can do about it. DON’T BE SO DEPRESSED SILLY!!! YOU ARE FAR MORE THEN THIS MATERIAL WORLD COULD EVER EXPLOIT. SO GET NAKED AND RUN WILD IN THE STREETS “SCREAMING JACKASS WITH A WET CIGARETTE“!!! ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! POWER TO THE FKN PEONS!
THE DIFFUSION OF RESPONSIBILITY
Lastly and Undoubtedly, you may all be thinking well if Mr. Human and his buddies have this situation cased (which most assuredly we don’t) and there are people out there being active (referred to in news as domestic terrorists) then I can continue to do my own thing and let them preserve my civil liberties, Nate can continue doing this with vile and lurid self-medicating humour. This is called the diffusion of responsibility, and will lead to the complete and utter erosion of all the freedoms we currently have been duped into believing that we have. One thing is for sure, facebook will surely be the death of Nathan Human.
*Apparently the following note is causing many people to hate themselves, if you plan on applying this to your on life, its best to stop reading now*
FADBUSTERZ #11.5: A Facebook strategy guide
NOW FADBUSTERS WILL PAY CRITICISM TO THOSE DELIGHTFUL FACEBOOK AMENTIES
THE BIRTHDAY ALERT FEATURE!!!
…..For the love of god, spare your acquaintances and distant non-friends the purely obligatory meaningless one liner “happy birthdays” on their wanting digital walls. It is almost better to not write anything than to write “happy birthday!”… I mean WTF DOES THAT MEAN??? Abso-fkn-lutly nothing! It simply shows them you were willing to waste 3 seconds of your time. And Yeah, I am so much happier now that you have forced me to be… with your completely meaningless platitude of “happy birthday”. If you feel the need to be generous, and make people “feel better about themselves” then at least write a few meaningful lines on their digital walls that are specific to that person. I mean please... THOUGHTS DON’T COUNT FOR SHIT IF ITS OUT OF OBLIGATION.
AQUAINTANCES AS FRIENDS
And then there are these assholes who feel the need to have 3000 friends that they do not know. For anyone who is unaware there are programs referred to as friend bot devices that can be downloaded on the net, they are used by marketers to sell people all sorts of shit they do not need, and send out friend invites to people. In addition these people typically end up filling the highly popular marketing niche of ‘trendsetters‘. Because it’s a well known marketing fact that 1 in every ten people tells the other nine what to do. If you see one of these people first assume the worst, I mean really, either they have self-esteem issues and are trying to compensate for their lack of real friends, and just adding people because they feel the need to be perceived by their all of these non-friends as popular. HA. Or they are trying to sell you something, maybe even an idea like FADBUSTING. OOPS, my sincerity is through the roof son. Your memory has just been erased. NOW.
LIMITED TIME OFFER!!!!!
Infinite Friends (Collect them all!!!) Look Ma I gotta rookie card!, I gotta truther, I got a douchbag, I got an activist, I got a slut, I got someone who is politically correct and supports Obama, I got a right wing retarded jockstrapped asshole, I got a good Christian girl, I got a homie, a token black friend. YAY!!!! LOOK AT ME AND HOW GOOD I AM AT SELF-DECEPTION!!!!YAYYYYY!
Recently facebook has decided that its best not to show a broken heart picture when so and so breaks up with so and so. Now a heart is used for both break ups and hook ups… Who knows… anyway. The most ridiculous thing about this addition to the program is that it has now become the formal way of officiating that one is in fact going steady with someone else. It’s not official until it is facebook official son!! And I presume this has caused a lot of unnecessary conflict for a lot of people, and I bet you most wouldn’t even bring it up. Recently and also included in the weekly report, some guy has KILLED his girlfriend for switching her status from in a relationship to single… So I mean don’t take this shit to lightly eh! Crazy people are like 8 days a week in this trench coat mafia reject society.
In an age in which insecurity has reached a self-censoring maximum this ugly tool of synoptic surveillance makes things all the more entertaining. This term describes a system in which units of the system monitor other co-worker (same-level) units of that system. We monitor ourselves. We have thus “outsheeped the sheep”. Heaven forbid we come to rely on this personal intrusion as a source for how to be informed about the world, ‘news’ is being systematically demoted to things such as ‘so and so is scratching their ass, so and so has a headache, so and so is dadadadada SHIT THE FUCK UP NOW. I realize that its not much of a degradation if compared to OJ trials, non-stop “where’s Kaylee” Brangelina mindfk radiation vision. This micro-news feed adds to our personalized schema we carry around called our ‘everyone’ adding to the delusion that the people we surround ourselves with are the only ones that exist and somehow are a valid random sample of the population of a whole. This option also allows us to annoy the fk out of our friends broadcasting our redundant “pick me, pick me” cries for attention of posted items status updates, fake friend selections etc. Nathan Human you dirty dirty boy you.
Jimmy is going to buy this, jenny is going to see that, Douglas recommends this. Big fkn deal. If you don’t want to be a facebook whore I suggest you opt-out of being exploited in their social ads. How about Jimmy, Jen and Doug, all go fk themselves and upload it to facebook. That said...
UPDATING YOUR STATUS
If you feel the need to change your status every hour, and want to provide a detailed ongoing record to big brother as to what you are doing all the time, instead of just abusing the service with witty, pompous statements that contain curse words, then don’t be surprised if it comes back to haunt you., yeah I know what your thinking “Nate, you hypocritical fkbag, you do it all the time”. Yeah well I am fully aware of this and wont be surprised when the Gestapo come a knocking on my door at 3 O’clock in tha moanin, most likely in the form of a revenue Canada representative!!!! FKRS CAN BRING THAT SHIT!!! Anyway I clearly don’t give a shit either, whereas most people, although oblivious, would. Assuming you fit in that category, consider this before updating your status. I don’t care if you’re tying your fkn shoes. Entertain me with witty one liners for fk sakes!!! It never gets old.
THE “ADD PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW THAT WELL TOOL”
If it isn’t spooky enough that the algorithmic statistical facebook monster knows everyone you know, including more about yourself than you know, it should be more upsetting to know that it knows people you don’t know you know. Get it? OK. And lets face it nothing says freedom like allowing someone you have met once get a complete stock of your life and know what you are doing at all times.
I AM HAPPY FOR THE NEW FACEBOOK. All of you assholes who were worried about the change over because it meant that people no longer had to peruse your layers of jackass applications you use to define yourselves, so I can write a message on your wall, can kiss my anti-old facebook ass. Fuck this mindless digital clutter into the recycling bin. I hope you enjoy the new box tab that no right thinking person will ever click on. It will act as a depository for all the useless shit you used entertain and define yourself with in the old virtual world. You Zombie war, funwall, virtual garden embracing real world rejects.
Read the fine print twerp, they want to have access to your personal information!
SAVING THE WORLD ONE CLICK AT A TIME
If you are so naïve that you actually believe that by simply clicking on a link you can cure any of the worlds problems, you are a delusional idiot fkbag, who deserves a life of taxation and slavery. Save the world with just a click than go back to sleep with the false confidence that you have actually done something asshole! Cure cancer, save the whales, save this, dadadadadadadFKNda!!! SHUT THE FK UP and stop playing into these foolish schemes. I mean for Christ sakes… charity ‘applications’??? For shit they could cure but wont because it isn’t economically viable, is beneath the level of sub-retardation, come on everyone knows cures dont make money son!!!
FUCK THE FACEBOOK FOREST
IT IS 100% MARKETING SCAM to sell useless counterproductive green wannabee eco-products to bench sitting eco-warriors who simply want to migrate their addiction to buying things into another market domain. Its just buying different stuff. It was a fad started by a company who makes GREEN ™ products called Ecotopia®. And might I add these products are fkn absurd. If you have joined this group you will notice they have removed the wall because ---yours truly--- went in there and FadbuZted that place to shit, informing their 200,000 plus members in thick detail about their elaborate ploy to propagate eco-capitalism. Playing off of lazy profligates will to save the planet and grow mono-cultured tree farms, they plant something like 1 tree per 10,000 people that join their mindfk group. BIG FKN DEAL. Instead of advocating deforestation they try to sell you more shit you don’t need, lots of it made of wood!!! What a bloody joke. They want your $$$ for their bullshit eco-friendly products which are more redundant then anything at Wal-Mart, useless pieces of shit that are about as ecological as my 4x4 jeep to gratify their own esurient lust for coin. FK THEM. For a crash course in eco-capitalism refer to FADBUSTERZ 5.
THE PROFILE PICTURE FEATURE
You may be saying to yourself well I don’t really care what people think about me, than I say why would you ever feel the need to change your face book photo. Seriously. No matter who it is and how socially detached ultimately it will come to the point in which you are compelled to change your picture, to present yourself in a different way, maybe its been a year and you want to update, sure, but everyday, are you that worried about being misunderstood???
1) The Cell phone shot of a person whose own deluded self-image or what they consider to be the best of themselves is conveyed in a solo photo only to be oblivious to the fact that they probably are processed as a complete retard to others.
-A sub classification in this category is someone who has not one of these pictures, but many, just so people get a concise feel for the grade of their intellectual disability.
2) The… look at all my friends, compulsive uploading, debaucherous, gallivanting, club hopping, drunken flaming asshole douchbag, how much self-investment one is capable of having in this digital popularity contest… shot.
3) The person who uses their avatar to communicate some sort of political, psychological, sociological idea. Wow I mean we are all real fkn impressed at how enlightened you are capable of portraying yourself as.
4) The “I don’t want to show you my face because I am not comfortable with who I am non-pic... shot.”
5) The xenophobic I understand this is all a ploy to get my information and am refusing to use my profile.... shot.
6) The here’s a picture of me and my more attractive friend... shot.
7) The mom and pop, hyper-conformist bore me to death picture. Ned Flanders wannable look at our beautiful kids, and monotonous life... shot.
8) The animal exploiting look at my personified pet... shot.
9) The I need to photoshop my pics in order to look cool to everyone... shot
10) The seamless, Sarah Terkes closest thing to perfection... shot
DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT
Good fucking luck. Between the addiction and the fact that you technically can’t, seriously good fkn luck. And I know you can go to the group called “How to delete your facebook account” that tells you to delete everything, what it doesn’t tell you that whatever you input is still retained in the facebook servers.
POUND ONE BACK, AND TWIST ONE ROUND, BECAUSE WE GETTING FKD UP TONIGHT!!!!!
Sincerely (on the brink of clinical insanity, but I am doing it for the free legal drugs from the Canadian Government)