The scene: A chicken crossing the road. The question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

DESCARTES: The chicken needed to go to the other side.

PLATO: For the well. On the other side of the road, the chicken will find true value.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was historically inevitable.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. : I have a vision of a world, where all chickens will be free to cross the road without having to justify their act.

MOSES: And God came down from heaven and He said to the chicken: "You have to cross the road". And the chicken crossed the road. God saw it was good.

RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Niccolò Machiavelli: Who gives a damn. The end of crossing roads, justifies any means whatsoever.

Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are concerned about the chicken crossing the road, shows your latent sexual insecurity.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY: The reason is you, but you do not know yet. A detector of lies will allow us to discover.

BILL CLINTON: I swear on the constitution, that nothing happened between me and the chicken.

STALIN: The chicken should be shot on the spot, and all witnesses also for not preventing this subversive act.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The fact that the chicken crossed the road with impunity despite UN resolutions, represents an affront to democracy, freedom and justice. This, undoubtedly proves that we should have already bomb this road long ago. So in order to establish peace in that region, and to make sure that the values we stand for will not be violated by such terrorism, the United States of America has decided to send 154 destroyers supported by 50,000 G.I, on a mission in the name of freedom and democracy. A Mission that will eliminate any trace of life that resembles a chicken and reduce any poultry to a pile of ash; we are gonna smoke em out... and spice em up ... and eat em... We won't allow any chicken to compromise our national security. We have decided that the crossing will be generously supported by our government, which will instate a democratically elected rooster.
By funding these reconstructions, we will have a total control over the entire region for the next 100 years only. In this new land of justice, peace and freedom, we can ensure that: Never again will a chicken try to cross a road for the simple reason that all chickens will have no more legs.
May God bless America!

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