The Department of Homeland Security has announced that, adult film star, Chelsea Charms has been placed on the no fly Terrorist Watch List.
DHS head, Janet Napolitano, herself, a big boob, made the announcement late Saturday evening. The statement comes, on the heels, of the Fox News story;
Terrorists Could Use Explosives in Breast Implants to Crash Planes, Experts Warn When asked why DHS was making the announcement, in the middle of a Saturday night, The DHS Head stated, “It is a matter of grave national emergency, and can not wait until Monday morning.”
It is has been rumored that Ms. Charms is being singled out as an example to others. To this charge, Napolitano replied,
“Ms. Charms has the largest breast implants known to man. If, just one of them, exploded, it could take out an entire city block.”
TSA, Head, Kristan Lee, told members of the press conference, “Keeping Ms. Charms off of airline flights isn’t just a matter of public safety, but also, a matter of public convenience.”
Lee clarified her statement, adding, “The patting, and frisking, that Ms. Charms will require, could take hours, and delay several flights.”
*Note it is unclear as to whether or not the size of the breast viewed has any predictive power in terms of longevity... -Alpha Beta of Fadsmashers.com
*get wet and we will take care of the rest - N Human
Frankfurt, Germany, December 6 -- A rather bizarre study carried out by German researchers suggests that staring at women's breasts is good for men's health and increases their life expectancy.
According to Dr. Karen Weatherby, a gerontologist and author of the study, gawking at women’s breasts is a healthy practice, almost at par with an intense exercise regime, that prolongs the lifespan of a man by five years.
She added, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out." Read more