Eminem announces that his new elusively talented and annoyingly high pitched squealfest, will appear very talented and intellectual when contrasted with the mass of even shittier music that will be released to his privileged suburban fanatics next spring.

The album will be entitled “relapse”, perhaps alluding to the listener’s method of sedating their ability to think with no talent lyricism and one play shelf life tracks. It is expected to reinforce white kids to partake in the blind narcissistic consumerism used to destroy black consciousness, that will bleed their pennies into the pockets of people and pretend that their hard knock lifestyles is like “ruff and shits”. By singing about such trivial events as his own life, as well as his own life, in addition to… his own life, Eminem is expected to create the illusion that he is actually good at what he does.

Leave a Reply