According to the US government quarter ton jellyfish are a threat to humanity! Apparently they are overpopulating  and must be destroyed. They are capable of damaging ships and are said to be ravaging the worlds oceans. They have also been blamed for damaging nuclear power plants, and attacking trade routes., clogging the structures with their gelatinous mass. They claim that billions of these creatures are challenging humanities title as the top consumer in the food chain... The article went so far to compare the worldwide incidence of human deaths due to jellyfish as a “9/11 each year”. I would not make this shit up.

Asian farmers will soon be forced into accepting a genetically modified crop of rice (FR13A rice) which is said to be disaster proof, and resistant to flooding. As usual it is being hailed as necessary in order to preserve the worlds food supply. Rice provides 70 % of the nutrients for people living in Asian countries.  Climate resistant crops are expected to spread throughout the world provoked by ecological imbalances created in conjunction with senseless mismanagement of the environment mostly owed to our desire to constantly outdo and kill one another! Yippie!

GMO’s are being grown by “the British government” in secret locations so to keep them safe from right minded people who may desire food that has evolved on its own, and that dont want copyrighted food forced down their necks and into their fields. Ministers are planning on scraping the disclosure rule which mandates that Britain reveals the types of testing that it is conducting. Governments cling to the notion that in order for the world to eat in the next 20 years, that GMO’s must be introduced into the food supply in order to completley imbalance the ecosystem which will warrant (you guessed it) MORE GMO's to fix the problem! Our food security depends on it! Biofuels! Clean Coal! Shopping green! YIPPIE!

Alex Wissner-Gross has popularized the notion that the energy required for two google searches can power a kettle to make a cup of tea (equates to roughly 15 grams of CO2 produced). Cumulatively then, the 200 million plus searches a day are likley to have some negative impact on global warming, if that theory is proven correct. Its likely that this information is precedent to some sort of internet taxation ado with the environment (i.e. not the investment in alternative sources of energy that have been stunted in growth due to oligopical market forces) but a tax to ensure that you have to work more to consume the same amount.

Super ants taking over Europe, in addition to coming in about 20,000 different types, Scientists speculate that the combined weight of ants the world over is several times heavier then the weight of all mammals on earth! Thanks to globalized trade and eccentric hippies with a desire for exotic plants the infestation is expected to spread worldwide, alike the human one. This super Ant dominates all other types of ant in the region. Plans to introduce another species to eat the ants and meddle with nature some  more thereby making the problem even worse are expected to begin shortly.

What comes out of China, gets shipped right back... 75% of electronic waste from the developed world is shipped back to China, while only 10% are recycled. Harmful chemicals such as lead and mercury are emitted into the atmosphere, when these materials are being disposed of. Much of the so called recycled electronics equipment ends up being sent to developing countries. The US volume of “e-waste” is estimated to be between 5-7 million tons each year.

Once again developing countries are being blamed for what’s theorized to be man made, but only after western nations persist in emitting the great majority of the worlds toxic emissions and have devoured its non-renewable resources for the last 100 years. In this elaborate attempt to shift blame and stifle 3rd world development, the so called “Third World Network”, protected multinational corporate interests at work in these countries from being compromised. For instance: the average East Indian uses 1/30th the amount of energy that 1 American does. Americans are trying to cut their emissions by 50%. Meaning that they would still be consuming 15 times as much, meanwhile these third world countries are expected to reduce their emissions by 60%! But don’t worry! ITS NOBODIES FAULT REALLY! And now the Bush puppet has made it even harder for the Obama puppet to reach this piddly goal, by enacting laws which prevent any mandated reduction in industrial pollution. YIPPIE!!

Australians have been instructed to eat more camels to save the environment… Due to an ‘uncontrollable’ population of camels, Australians are being encouraged do their part in optimizing the ecosystem and water resources problems they created, by dining on camels. In a related story the US is said to be investigating the Camelians ties to Al CIAda... When asked to respond to the allegation of being scape-cameled for the worlds problems, representatives of the Camelian tribe were quoted as saying things which were highly incomprehensible to human reporters because they are camels… however, one did coherently respond in saying. “Fuck you, we did not create the problem you flat back dickheads, you humans outnumber us by billions, and each consume 10 times the amount of water as us, so fuck off you opposable thumb having bipedal mutherfkrs, and don’t expect a ride on my back through the desert sun after you nuke the planet and are forced back into egalitarianism either you wastes of cerebral cortex bitches you!”. The hostility is said to be evidence of the AL CIAda factions clandestine ploy to destroy civilization.

Canada’s dirty oil refuges are literally targets for sitting ducks! As the birds typically go plunge into the intoxicated waters to get a drink, only to get an intoxicating fix of pollutants instead!

The Alberta/ Saskatchewan method of tar sand oil extraction produces three times the greenhouse gas emissions (I.e. pollution) as conventional oil extraction. Output is expected to triple by 2020, as Canada begins to capitalize as the second largest oil surplus on the planet sandwiched between Saudi Arabia and Iran.

The American owned Canadian industry uses 1-8 million liters of water a day. The conservative government in Canada doesn’t plan on meeting a UN climate agreement of a reduction by 20% by 2020, but is hoping that developing countries who consume 1/10th the amount should begin looking into cleaning up their act.

Meanwhile the ‘developing’ country of China is already making electric vehicles, as India makes ones that run on air… Yet we are told that the technology is not feasible! And don’t challenge the notion at all, because we prefer to have to keep working to buy more gas! Yippie! Just keep shaking fist at gas pump when the price creeps up again like raging caveman, between talking about the fkn weather!

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650 leading scientists who criticize the idea of global warming are going to be heard at a united nations climate change conference. It should be noted that this is 12 times the amount of scientists who authorized the official IPCC 2007 report. I don’t like to play into this distracting debate for reasons outlined in last weeks FadStomp but here is what these ‘nobodies’ are saying:

"I am a skeptic .… Global warming has become a new religion."
--- Nobel Prize Winner for Physics, Ivar Giaever.

"The [global warming] scaremongering has its justification in the fact that it is something that generates funds."
--- Award-winning Paleontologist Dr. Eduardo Tonni

"The IPCC has actually become a closed circuit; it doesn't listen to others. It doesn't have open minds ... . I am really amazed that the Nobel Peace Prize has been given on scientifically incorrect conclusions by people who are not geologists."
--- Geologist Dr. Arun D. Ahluwalia

Could it be that environmentalists are having their efforts devoted to something that is completely fabricated in an attempt to divert them from things of more impending ecological importance? Yes the Icecaps are shrinking, but what is causing it? The global warming argument implies that we will destroy ourselves, it uses fear… Why should this be the motive we need, much less one so riddled in controversy. How about this for a motive… Because its cheaper, cleaner and just makes fucking sense! The environment shouldn’t need to be factor in reaching this sensible conclusion. So what does this mean then? Well if enough doubt is cast on the issue we may as well keep making gas powered vehicles right? Never mind the ‘practicality’ of doing otherwise! If we prove global warming is a scam, then how will I get my muscle car to make me look like the rebellious person I apparently... am not!



Meanwhile Its snowing in Las Vegas, and southern California…

As zombified westerners trudge through the emptying aisles, they suppress the fact that almost every product they consume has involved the labour of thousands of people around the globe. The process of devouring the earth has been structured largely around American consumption; goods produced for low wages in 2nd world countries, using resources sourced from the sub equator darker skinned 3rd world countries.

Americans who have longed for jobs that were outsourced, and not profit sharing, and enlightened capitalism, will be happy to know that the factories will soon move back in order to make products for the up and coming consumerism of China! Similarly millions in China continue to protest the closing of slave driving factories they have grown dependent on. Mexico, Turkey, Indonesia, Argentina, Brazil, India, Serbia, Hungary Ukraine, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and numerous others are expected to suffer death by IMF, as already enslaved African nations who continue to be stripped of their resource wealth to make weapons and cell phones, welcome the company of their European counterpart’s misery.