US admits that it held 12 juveniles at Guantanamo, one of which is expected to come to Canada in a publicity stunt aimed at showing that even the most murderous Islamic beasts can be indoctrinated into the peaceful western industrial complex.

Queens university now forced to consider how alcohol may be detrimental towards getting an education, in light of numerous violent incidents and injuries which have been tied to usage of the drug since the beginning of the semester. While encouraging students to remain artificial and narrow minded in their social engagements, alcohol is a substance which is needed to kill the curiosity which may still remain that may cause them to rethink the education they believe is a valid window into truth and are encouraged to circumvent as such. The school is working on adding more fluoride to water to combat the aggressive side effects of alcohol.